“We all struggle with struggles. But did you ever think that perhaps God may be using your struggles to change you?
To shape you?
Even to heal you?”
I think Max may be right. For over a decade I have been asking God to remove the pain in my head. I have chronic headaches. Even as I write these words, my thoughts pass through the fog of pain and try to come out coherent and uplifting. Doctors discovered at least part of the problem: deteriorated discs in my neck that shoot pain across my shoulders, up the back of my head, and to my temples. The lupus only muddies the issue, which makes my soldiering through the day sometimes, well, a battle.
Oh, put the tissues away, this isn’t a sob story. We all deal with struggles. This just happens to be mine.
So, what do I do with it? I do my part. Stay active. Exercise. Stretch. Eat right. Think positively (after all, I don’t want to become anyone else’s headache). But mostly I pray.
Well, more like, I contend. Shouldn’t I be healed, God? I am an artist. Writer. Teacher. Mom. I need clarity. I need my head functioning on all cylinders. So far, He hasn’t healed me.
Or has He?
Nowadays I pray a lot more. Nothing extravagant. Just simple honest conversations.
Guide my thoughts, Heavenly Father.
The pain is a little rough today.
Amp up my thinking as I teach.
Give me strength.
Not what you’d call earthshaking or eloquent, just little pleas to the great Physician. I want God to heal my body. But you know something? I think He is using my body to heal my heart.
More and more, I feel like I am in a constant state of prayer. And the unequivocal healing from that remedial balm is measurable. More and more, I feel open, inspired, grounded, guided, softened, aware, and grateful.
So, you know that thing that’s been bugging you? That pain that’s lingered? That struggle that’s leveraged life out of you? Could it be that, just maybe, God is using it to heal your heart?
There was given to me a thorn in the flesh…For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee.
2 Corinthians 12:7-9
May you and your heart find healing today.
photo: Jodie Dee McGuire
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